Thursday, August 30, 2007

Put your feet up and scoot your tush closer to me

Meet my gynecologist Dr. X. (I am witholding his identity because I had a dream he found this blog and then dropped me as a patient. I don't think I could handle that kind of rejection/embarrassment right now. But, if you want you can click on the link to his book if you are really curious.)

He is ranked one of the top 10 ob/gyns in the country! Only the best for me. I have a huge crush on him even though I am well aware that may not be healthy (although I am told it is not uncommon) and I know it is bad of me to I think he gives me the best breast exams I have ever had (he warms up his hands first and is very thorough ). Even sadder, I read his book. http://www.amazon.com/Reclaiming-Desire-Keys-Finding-Libido/dp/1579546838/ref=pd_bbs_2/105-0004655-0360456?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188503259&sr=8-2
Yes, it seems he really understands a woman’s needs. His wife is a very lucky woman.

Isn’t he handsome? He always gives me a hug and kiss on the cheek after the exam and once he told me I was "a cutie". He also gave me his cell phone number if I ever have any concerns or problems. Does your gyno do that?


So at this point I'm completely outing myself as a total loser but I did fail to mention that Dr. X was a concert promoter in the 80s (when he was in college) for big acts like Ray Charles, Run DMC, and 10,000 Maniacs. How amazing is he?

13 comments:

Hadass said...

I have a secret crush on my eye doctor. When he says "look into my eyes", I have absolutely no problem with that. My mom goes to him too and we both call him Dr. Hottie. He has like 10 kids or something. Although he does not get quite as up close and personal with me as the ob/gyn. It could be a little unhealthy being that this man is all up in your business. You could grow a very unhealthy attachment to him. Although, in your situation, I can see how you would put him on a pedestal.

KEITH said...

I think you have a perfectly healthy fixation on the good doctor. But if you start mailing dead cockroaches to Gail, we need to talk.

Colleen said...

If I tense up when he's down there he will gently rub my thigh to comfort me. I would think that would be considered inappropriate behavior if he wasn't already with his head between my legs.

Hadass said...

Okay, now you are just making him sound creepy instead of just an amazingly caring doctor. Thank God my gyno is a woman. That would weird me out if he did that.

KEITH said...

Hey, it works so I think the man knows what he's doing.

Colleen said...

No Hadass, it wouldn't weird you out if it was Goldstein. He's dreamy.
Read into it all you want, and i know it is rare but when it comes to gynos I prefer men over women.

Colleen said...

As you can see, I am clearly in love with him. He is the most caring, compassionate, funny, and brilliant man I have ever met.

For the rest of my life he will be the yardstick against which all men will be measured.

KEITH said...

Your yardstick is a rock star-like Va-Jay-Jay expert?

Good luck.

Colleen said...

He is a vulva vaginal specialist, not a "va jay-jay expert" and after his residency he lived in New Delhi for a year delivering poor people's babies at free clinics there.
He is also the co-founder of the Sexual Wellness Center in Annapolis MD so he is a bona fide "sexpert". Now that's hot.

KEITH said...

Then that begs the question: What is a va jay-jay?

So, he's a rock star-like sexpert who follows in the footsteps of Mother Teresa?

Kate said...

Wow, its amazing how a strategically placed mustache can really disguise a dude. I mean I expected to be able to pick the good doctor out of the crowd at the next ob/gyn conference I went to, but now.....it will be nearly impossible to know which one is he. Very sneaky!

Hadass said...

Nobody will ever know him now! You are so clever Colleen.

KEITH said...

I just want to point out that the mustache was my idea.

I am so clever, Hadass.