Question for Discussion:
Should you date someone your friends dislike?
Please do not include anything about me and my unfortunate track record when posting your answers.
- Maybe I shouldn't use the word unfortunate since with most of the guys I dated I stayed friends.
11 comments:
Sure, why not? You're the one dating them, not your friends. But, its probably wise to ask why they don't like the datable person, first. They might know something you don't.
I agree with Kate, but it does make it very difficult when your friends don't like them. If their reason is justified, then look into it deeper and re-examine your reasons for liking the person. Sometimes if you look deeper, and see what your friends see, you see that they are right. After all, they are your friends and know you probably better than the person you are dating. My best friend in high school hated my boyfriend, mostly because she was jealous that she did not have one herself. We always tried to include her in things we were doing but she didn't want to be a part of it because of him. We ended up not being friends anymore. We had been best friends, like sisters, since 7th grade. It was very sad, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do, because the reasons she had for not liking my boyfriend were not valid. She said she could not be friends with me if I continued to date him, and I told her that was too bad. We did finally make peace with one another and we do occassionally, and very randomly talk today, but not like it was. In retrospect, I didn't stay with that person, so I guess I lost the friendship over nothing, although I would not trade my time with him either.
I think I have very reasonable friends and if friends that I am close to and especially if we have been friends for a while, well then that is a red flag in my opinion. One's friendship say something about the kind of personalities you are compatable with and if they clash then something must be off. They must be putting too much stock in the attraction element of the relationship.
It is a differnt case with Hadass because it was a friend, not friends. If it is just one friend that doesn't like him then maybe you need to look at the friendship.
Yeah, thats true. If you have more than one person telling you the dude's a scumbag, then maybe he is. But, there are still people that will have prejudice because they don't like the idea of being a single person and loosing a co-single to go out with on a Saturday night. I've been on both sides. I've chosen a relationship over a friend because that friend had some crazy stuff to say and she couldn't deal. And I've recognized that I disliked a friend's partner for some pretty dumb reasons and managed to keep my mouth shut while keeping a comfortable distance from the pair and just waited it out. The guy will either grow on you, or they'll break up, or you and your friend will grow apart. But I don't think that you can influence your friend, and I'm not sure that you should let your friend influence you. You just have to trust yourself and be prepared for whatever hapens. Its just like The Hills.
Team LC!
Str8 Up
You know, I think I’ve done a pretty good job picking my friends and if there’s a general consensus among them that there’s something wrong with the girl I’m dating then I’d take that pretty seriously. I don’t think my friends have any ulterior motives to keep me single. If they did, they wouldn’t be my friends.
Its a totally different story with dudes.
How so?
I think I forgot to make it clear what kind of stuff they don't like. Their reasons lying somewhere between thinking he treats you badly and thinking he has shitty taste in music. I mean not rediculous stuff such as they don't like him cos he's racist or a drug addict.
Like, they think he is whiney, fussy, a bore, a complainer, selfish, or generally just sucks. Personality stuff.
Bros before hos, Colleen. Bros before hos.
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