Me & Clay

Season's Greetings from Philadelphia

Whale Penis

The woman on the microphone then said "and, uh, obviously this is a male Beluga whale". There was a 5 person deep crowd in front of the glass observation window at the Atlanta Aquarium that July day and I managed to squeeze by enough people just in time to gasp in awe with the rest of the lucky visitors. Sadly Kate was not as ambitious as I was and was patiently waiting in the back but tried in vain to see over the other people's heads. By the time she reached the front the elusive Beluga whale penis was gone.

We continued on learning about marine life but for the rest of the day Kate's expression resembled that of this fish:
I believe the guide said this particular species was called fishious grumpyious.

Happy 26th Birthday Timmy!

Oh how young we once were... That was 10 years ago!

Do you know what a dorey is? I do!

And there were so many other wonderful things I discovered about Nova Scotia when Autumn and I visted in September so I thought I would share a few of the pictures. I would like to extend a special Aut, Colleen thanks to Scott Nixon who was so generous to let us stay at his beautiful new house.

There is a dorey in one of these pictures...

My friend Agata with her recently deceased pet rat Zuza

So sad and yet so creepy.

I'm back

It all started to come back to me last night. Ok, so I’ll back the truck up a bit to acknowledge that I essentially stopped posting here altogether. I could say I was busy which I was but I’m always pretty busy. That’s the annoying part; lots of interesting, comedic, embarrassing things have happened to me just as they always seem to do but I lost some momentum that pushes me to post them on this lovely green outlet for all my “crazy”. Observations, thoughts and involvement went in and out of me like cigarette smoke.

Back to last night… I was at the Free Library of Philadelphia on Vine for the much anticipated Annie Leibovitz lecture and book signing. I love a good book event and I like it even better at the FLP because I know the way they run their big events so that I can not only see the lecture but know when to cut out early to get to the front of the book signing line right behind the professional eBayers who have no interest in the author or their talk, just their authentic signature for the auction. The last time I was there was to see Garrison Keillor when Liberty came out a little over a month ago and while chatting with the people around me about how much we don’t like Sarah Palin but love her in the media I managed to offend one of those old ladies that hang out at the library and we got into a very awkward argument about the Bush Doctrine. I won’t go into it further. She started it. Moving on, I again was chatting with the fellow Leibovitz while clutching my book for it was soon be marked by a true icon when I thought of something that made me want to kick myself. I didn’t bring my camera. I am not one to bring cameras to these things but how cool would it have been if when I got to the front of the line I handed her my camera and asked her to take my picture. Nothing fancy, just a snapshot but then I could say I had an Annie Leibovitz portrait of myself! The most famous portrait photographer of all time (forget Diane Arbus) took my photograph. That would be one to show the grandkids. She was so kind and gracious when I finally did get my book signed I was sure she would have done it. Ugh! I could really kick myself.

Although I missed this great opportunity I did get something out of it aside from my personalized autograph. For the first time in quite a while I felt clever. I felt like my old self and next time she puts out a book, or any photographer for that matter I will make sure to pack a camera. Finally I feel the momentum building so next time I breathe in the cigarette smoke of personal experiences I will not neglect to blow it in your faces.

I'm trying to ease back into posting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRzTfgds0UI

Coming soon...

Atlanta posts! I took a little blog vacation but I'll be adding several posts chronicling my trip to the ATL over the next few days.

Note the bumper sticker. It says "Honk if you love sexy Jesus".

Beep Beep!!

I'm getting a hero's welcome in Atlanta!

So Thursday I am heading south to Atlanta for the 4th of July to visit my best girlfriends from college (and frequent Aut, Colleen commentators) Kate and Chrystal. We plan to do all sorts of fun stuff like go to the aquarium, Margaret Mitchell house, the new Coca-Cola museum and probably some drinking and general merriment. Well, it turns out they are not the only ones who can't wait to see me! Check it out what K & C had to say about it this morning:

Kate: I think I can safely say without being overly hyperbolic that all of Atlanta is excited for your visit.

Chrystal: That’s true. Why just yesterday I saw someone on the street and they said to me, “Did you hear, Colleen is coming?” And I said, “Yes, in fact she is one of my best friends”. And I could see the jealousy in their eyes as I said that. They wanted to be your friend too. The whole city is abuzz with the news of your invasion. It will be just like when the Beatles invaded America.

Kate: Seriously, yesterday evening when I was sitting in traffic heading home I heard a traffic report on the radio. They were warning to allow a little extra time and patience during the commute over the next couple of days because extra people are on the roads, stocking up on party supplies in anticipation of Colleen. There is definitely an air of excitement in the ATL.

Who knew?

Just for fun check out the video Kate sent me this morning...

http://mx.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

SAVE THE DATE

I am having a BIRTHDAY PARTY on Saturday, August 16th! This will be the first party I had to celebrate my birthday since my 21st at Juarez, the token Mexican restaurant in Savannah. I decided to deal with my fear of aging like a big girl and grab 28 by the horns! Last year I spent my special day stuck in bed at my parents house watching t.v. with a bag of frozen peas so this year I plan to do it up.

Balloons in front of the house, goody bags, streamers, maybe a face cake...

Details and Evite to follow.

Move over Puss in Boots!

http://jezebel.com/5015123/pig-in-boots

Thanks Autumn!

Pale is Beautiful

Hey kids! Hope you’re staying cool out there and don’t forget your sun block. Prevention is the best medicine and UVA/UVB rays are the #1 cause of premature aging. Listen to your good friend fishbelly when I tell you that summertime isn’t the only time to protect your face from the sun’s harmful rays – I wear SPF 30 year round! Skinceuticals makes a great one, though a tad pricey, it goes on clear so it doesn’t leave that milky white residue and it’s light so I can wear it over my moisturizer and under my makeup. I read in InStyle that J.Lo uses the same kind. She’s a Leo too!

So, speaking of pale I would like to introduce you to the Ghost Lady of Walnut Street (see the picture I took while waiting in line at the fruit salad cart). I am guessing she is probably in her mid 80s and she is white white. Like opaque powder white which she compliments with bright matte coral lipstick, a heavy handed application of blush, and a weeks worth of mascara. She always wears a wide brimmed hat, short skirt, and those ballet flat type Sketchers with the criss cross straps – the kind middle schoolers wear. I first noticed her a couple months ago when she was aimlessly pacing in front of Alma de Cuba and since then this strange behavior has been consistent. She has this lost expression on her face and what she will do is slowly walk down a block, stop on the corner and just stand there for a couple minutes before arbitrarily choosing another direction in which to continue the same process. Each time she always has a shopping bag from a fancy store (you can see that day she was at Tiffany’s) like Burberry, Joan Schepp, Cole Haan, etc.

This woman is an enigma to me. I am fascinated. I want to know her story. Crazy lady with money always makes a good one.

Sorry the picture isn't great but I have been keeping my camera in my purse hoping to snap a better shot of this elusive creature.

Act Now!

http://reserveaspotinheaven.com/

http://reserveaspotinhell.com/

Graffiti

I saw this at the pump at the gas station on the corner of Delaware Ave & Spring Garden Tuesday night. I thought it was hilarious. Is it just me?

I got some strange looks taking this picture.

What's new in birth control?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP32G_ENna4

(yeah, I know this picture is soooooooooo wrong)

Way beyond a "Glamour Don't"

When I hear about all that crazy polygamy stuff that goes on in those parts of the country between New York and LA I feel terrible that with all of my neofeminist values all I can think about is how horrible it must be, not to be subjected to that oppressive misogynistic life but to have to wear those ugly dresses.

I'm not the only one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcN_LbP3QbA

This table was for sale on eBay. How can you tell it is being sold by a man?

The Wait is O-V-E-R!

Grey's Anatomy is finally, after a long hiatus due to the writer's strike, bringing us new episodes. I don't think I could have taken it much longer.

I need Derek Shepard.

Seriously.

55 Days and 2.5hrs till the LSAT

One step closer to Madame President

Thank you Pennsylvania! Boy, I am in a good mood today.

Happy Passover!

This picture was taken from one of the many Passover themed emails/forwards I received today. I decided which one to choose while munching on matzah from one of the 3 boxes of it that were delivered to the office this morning.

"i shuddered when i read that thomas kincaid anecdote>who would write a paper in art school re:that?"

"Just read your blog- very clever, informative, & entertaining. I had never read it before so I read the ENTIRE thing while Giselle was napping. We are in a hotel room in Cleveland-yes Cleveland. Tres boring. Every nite we go out for some sort of world experience dinner>tonite=ethiopian, but alas, the city is still mundane."

This is an excerpt of an email from Nicole who was my good friend, fellow SCAD grad, and co-worker at The Olde Pink House in Savannah (pictured above). You know the saying “two heads are better than one”? The opposite is true when Nicole and I are together. Case in point: late one evening while it took us an absurdly long time to realize the man with the long blond hair who reserved his table under the name “Allman” might just be Greg Allman who lives about 30 minutes outside Savannah. Aha! It was.

She now lives in Michigan now with her man and beautiful baby girl Giselle. The Savannah years were defining for both of us and she and I spent many evenings sitting on the porch of her house right off Forsythe Park drinking and exploring all the "how did I get here? What am I trying to do - what did I expect to find here? Will it ever make sense for us?" and of course we talked about art and being broke. She had a palm tree in her front yard which was something neither of us could get over. We would drink the $2.50 bottles of wine you could get at the Kroger and one time her weird pot head neighbor tried to give us this HUGE bag full of kine bud but for some reason Nicole wouldn’t let me/us except. It was like $400 worth of serious weed. We were both poor and could have sold it! Or smoked it. I wanted to give some to my Savannah obsession, Craig, who worked with us at the OPH. Hadass, gets it. She worked with him at Seasons and she had a crush on him but I was full blown in love. I could (and did) literally talk about him for hours at a time. I was 20 so my infatuation was kind of adorable and just a little bit pathetic.

Nicole and I were held up at gunpoint one night after we hit up Goth Night (also bottomless cup night!) at Club One. We were so scared we ran into what we though was a small corner pub but turned out to be gay leather bar. Another time we were on Tybee Island for her birthday where we got drunk on Margaritas at Skipper’s, then played in the ocean fully dressed. What happened next is still kind of fuzzy but I think we lost the person who drove us there and we had to walk from one end of the island to the lighthouse where my friend Maime lived so she could drive us back to the mainland. I remember we got lost wandering around an arboretum… Our bizarre misadventures are countless and we are in talks to taking on Thailand next year.

Nicole rocks. She is an amazing photographer and a kind, sensitive, complex woman. Best of all, she is raising a second generation Aut, Colleen reader. Welcome Nicole!

Happy Birthday Aut! Love, Colleen

My sister Autumn was born on April 14th, 1978 in the City of Philadelphia to Jeanne and Dennis.

You know what that means...

She's the big 3-0!

Happy birthday old lady! You're almost as old as those pyramids!

Keith's His Name and Movies are His Game

This is a reminder to check out my good friend Keith's movie blog to for all his funny and insightful reviews of the films showing at the Philadelphia Film Festival. If you don't know, Keith takes the week off work at highly stressful job at UArts to watch as many films as humanly possible - he doesn't mess around. This year he is a judge which is super exciting!

http://keithsmovies.blogspot.com/

Some of you might remember that around this time last year I ran into Paul Rudd at Starbucks when he was in town for the festival. (Smile and sigh...)

Quack

This brought a tear to my eye.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-ducklings10apr10,1,2641110.story

Enter Spring

This mix is about as easy breezy (beautiful covergirl) as I get but still has the balance between fast and slow, mixing local bands, old favorites, and new finds. As always, ask and ye shall receive.

1. It's A Fine Day - Jane

2. Radio Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen

"Magic" is one of the best albums of the past year and with this song the Boss still proves that he is, well, the Boss. It has a powerful repetition of lyrics that reminds me of one of my other all time favorite songs, Unsatisfied by The Replacements. I play this song REALLY loud with the windows down in my car on nice days.

3.Lake Michigan - Rough Wave

4. Ok, It's Alright With Me - Eric Hutchinson

Get up and dance!

5. The General Specific - Band of Horses

Band of Horses is one of my favorites so it was hard for me to pick just one song off their latest album "Cease to Begin". I saw them at the TLA a couple months back and they blew my mind. The whole experience was transcendental and left me walking on air for the next few days.

6. Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? - She and Him

My Dad recently purchased their album "Volume 1" so I've been listening to it a lot at work. It makes me smile.

7. Heavenly Day - Patty Griffin

This song is like a warm breeze blowing across a green meadow under a cloudless blue sky...

8. The Pilgiming Vine - Basia Bulat

I have a post about her show at the Tin Angel that I haven't gotten around to finishing. She and I got into a lengthy discussion about Daniel Johnston (who I had seen at the Troc the week earlier) and Lou Reed. I will try to get that one up soon. She is cute as a button

9. My Eyes - Travis

My beloved band Travis delivers once again.

10. Waiting for My Real Life to Begin - Colin Hay

11.Angels Hung Around - Rilo Kiley

Jenny Lewis has a voice as sweet and smooth as strawberry ice cream. In this song she makes peace with her past.

"And I feared the best and loved the worst

And insisted that I go first

And watch your eyes as they poured

And I never really loved you more."

12. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

It doesn't get more light hearted and optimistic than this.

13. The Emergency - Gileah & The Ghost Train

14. Cheer My Up Thank You - New Buffalo
15. Sunny Road - Emiliana Torrini

At this point I am so impressed that I can put together such a sunny CD that I still identify with.

16. My Own Worst Enemy - George Stanford

17. Walt Whitman Bridge - Marah

A local band who has had oodles of critical praise but not the commercial success to match. I think they are amazing and so does Nick Hornby. Another place and another time I think he and I could have really been something.

18. Just Like That - Dar Williams and Patty Larkin

If songs could hug...

If I forgot to...

Invite you to my latest soirée either I'm not that crazy about you or I don't have your email or you live too far away or I forgot so please let me know.

GreenReaper, I'm talking to you!

Arctic Splash!

Ah, Arctic Splash. It’s as essential to Fishtown as pajamas as outerwear or Newports... But, we do have an abundance of hipsters. On occasion they will do something moderately amusing such as organizing costume bike rides where they get about 15-20 people to dress up in crazy costumes and ride around the neighborhood. Fishtown is basically divided into two main groups: the hipsters and the old school Fishtowners who can’t understand why people would spend mucho dough for a newly renovated row home or environmentally friendly condo and have an apparent addiction to a sugary ice tea-esq beverage called Arctic Splash. (I am the exception as I fall into neither category.)

This addition to F-town’s official website is clearly the work of those of the Johnny Brenda loving persuasion and Timmy and I got a good laugh out of the hipster's take on our hamlet's beloved drink. (http://www.johnnybrendas.com/) . Check it out:


http://fishtown.us/image/tid/53
http://fishtown.us/image/tid/55


this picture was taken right outside my house.

No, not that kind of Cat Lady

I like cats. Sure, I do. I even have one. One. One cat. A woman I work with has 13, in a one bedroom apartment in West Philly. Hmm. Well, I guess its better than having 20 beavers.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=article&node=&contentId=A58357-2000Dec12&notFound=true

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23612118/

Whatever. Make fun of me. I don't care.

I played with Barbies till I was in 6th grade. Sad, I know but if you knew me in middle school I was a pretty sad character in general. I had full braces, brassy unkempt hair, and a fashion sense that was a little too edgy for Cinnaminson Middle School. Think Clarissa Explains it All but not quite daring and I sure as hell didn’t have the confidence to pull off the look. At least I had clear skin…

In general I would prefer to clear my mind of any memory of 1990 through 1994. Ah, but the 80’s. That is when I really shined. I held court daily in the Rush Elementary School Playground. I danced to The Clash & Michael Jackson records with my mom and spent my days playing with Autumn and Timmy in the back yard. Life was good and best of all I had my Chrystal Barbie. I was devastated when I found out my mother threw away/donated all my Barbies as soon as went to college. So today I decided to go to hit up ebay and bid on Chrystal Barbie.

I am currently the high bidder.

I’ll keep you posted on the status of the auction.


http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280214611793&ssPageName=ADME:B:BCA:US:1123

Do any of you long for a childhood toy you no longer have. Glow Worm, Weebles, Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony? Perhaps a Pound Puppy?

Buster is the feline David Mach

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Mach

My cat vomits a lot. A lot. It has gotten worse with age (he is 6) and cannot eat anything except for dry cat food. I took him to the cat doctor and they said that this is a common problem and the best I can do is make sure that his food and water are fresh, bowls are cleaned daily, etc… Now, B-bud has always been a very special cat known for his impressive vertical jumps, keen mole hunting skills, and his proclivity for taking people’s socks and scattering them around the house when he is upset or anxious. On more than one I have woken up with him in my bed surrounded by several of Clay’s socks or come home to socks (sometimes underpants), well, everywhere.

He is a sensitive creature and his formative years were spent surrounded by art students in a Savannah apartment that was painted as a color theory installation (I got an A). So it has come as no surprise to me that my little guy is articulating his physical pain through his art. Kinda like Frieda Kahlo but instead of injuries sustained in a bus accident, he has a upset stomach and he chose art installations as his medium. I don't let him near my paints.

When I came home the other day I found this (see pictures) on the rug in my living room. He had vomited and then (I’m not sure of the order) methodically scratched (etched?) the rug half way around the pile of vomit (the photograph does not show all of the etching due to the angle the picture was taken and the flash). He topped it off with one of Clay’s wool socks. I took pictures and studied this for a while before I finally got some paper towels and carpet cleaner spray.

I have analyzed the meaning and motivational force behind this living room art installation but I would like to hear what you – the Aut, Colleen, reader thinks Buster is trying to covey in this, his most recent work.

I think it is a very powerful piece.

Canada Sucks

Last week I was in Orlando to hang with my science nerd sister. We hit up Epcot.