You can cut the tension in this office with a machete today for which I am partly responsible. Long story short I told the office manager to “Chill the fuck out” yesterday. Not my finest moment, I know. Not terribly classy or diplomatic either. Those words did not just fly out of my mouth unexpectedly in a way that would cause me to clasp my hand over my mouth in shock either. No, those words were deliberate and clearly enunciated – forced out after wrestling and losing to my better judgment and leaving my frontal lobe in a frozen panic from the impending verbal faux pas.
The argument that spurred my inappropriate language was one where I was in the right. Sadly, my position lost a measurable amount of credibility when I dropped the F-bomb. I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew what I was dealing with (Keith once said “you can’t fight crazy”) and yet instead of diffusing the situation I provoked it for the cheap thrill of winding someone up. This is not to say that I wasn’t legitimately pissed off but to exhibit behavior which can only be described as petulant was not in anyone’s best interest. Because the rest of the office knows that the scary bitch in me has woken I was not adequately reprimanded. I was told, as a side note, to keep the vulgar language in check later by my boss.
Which brings us to today… I have not apologized for my poor choice in words and acting like a total asshole in general - yet. I think I should but I would have to find out how to and still make it clear that I was not in the wrong. I did this. I am responsible for upsetting things.
Maybe I will write it in a note card with cute kittens on the cover. That might be a good idea. She like cats. She has 12.
The argument that spurred my inappropriate language was one where I was in the right. Sadly, my position lost a measurable amount of credibility when I dropped the F-bomb. I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew what I was dealing with (Keith once said “you can’t fight crazy”) and yet instead of diffusing the situation I provoked it for the cheap thrill of winding someone up. This is not to say that I wasn’t legitimately pissed off but to exhibit behavior which can only be described as petulant was not in anyone’s best interest. Because the rest of the office knows that the scary bitch in me has woken I was not adequately reprimanded. I was told, as a side note, to keep the vulgar language in check later by my boss.
Which brings us to today… I have not apologized for my poor choice in words and acting like a total asshole in general - yet. I think I should but I would have to find out how to and still make it clear that I was not in the wrong. I did this. I am responsible for upsetting things.
Maybe I will write it in a note card with cute kittens on the cover. That might be a good idea. She like cats. She has 12.
( the pic is of Leona Helmsley and the dog she left her millions too. she is famous for being a massive bitch)
1 comment:
I say don't apologize. You can clear the air without apologizing. You know how to be professional, but this was a conscious choice you made to get a point across. Its not like you were drunk at the office holiday party and said things you regretted the next day. Stand your ground. Let her think you're an ass hole. Let HER deal with it. You did what you had to do.
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