My Eyes! My Eyes!

Some people go their whole lives without seeing other people having sex. In real life, not porn. Not yours truly. Of course not, I’m Colleen and stuff like this just happens to me. I am only 26 and today marks the second time I walked in on people doin the nasty in the workplace. The first time was when I was working as an innkeeper at 1790 Inn when I was living in Savannah. The horribleness of that particular incident was two fold. I’ll explain. It was a bellhop and a housekeeper on the floor naked with The View on the TV. The second part is that I was bringing guests to that room so I was not alone in witnessing the intimate act. I was only 21 at the time but I recovered well by lying and saying that they were two guests that had apparently not checked out of the room yet and then upgraded the couple to the honeymoon suite. At that point I was in college nudity didn’t bother me. I was exposed to many nude models in my life drawing classes and even remember one late night party at this club above this restaurant when for some reason or another we all took off our clothes and hung out in our underpants and various states of undress. That was when beds in nightclubs were all the rage and I guess maybe that is what prompted it but I do remember my friend Olga was the first one to strip down. It seemed like a good idea to follow suit at the time.

Back to today; I was going down into the basement to get some batteries for my walkie when I walked in on Stanley, our security guard and what appeared to be a hooker (or someone in inappropriate daytime attire) doin it and doin it and doin it well. Awkward. I immediate left without saying a word and without my battery.

I had to tell my boss. That is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

This forced me deeper into my increasingly catatonic state.

Don't Tell Me Anything Interesting Because I Am Now Devoid of Personality

Yesterday I watched four hours of Charm School on VH1. You know, the Flavor of Love spin off. Best thing I ever did. It was like instead of sticking an ice pick in my eye socket and removing my frontal lobe, my lobotomy was performed by watching a crap marathon. Now my coworkers are commenting on my new subdued state and the faraway look in my eyes. Mindlessness really is bliss and I bet I will have much better luck with men as I am practically a Stepford wife now. My childlike curiosity and need to accumulate as much useless knowledge as possible is…gone…see, I can’t even think of good 50¢ word to use to make the sentence a little more interesting. No desire to consult my trusty thesaurus either.

So, the point is that I have nothing to say, no witty anecdotes, all my favorite French euphemisms that I have devised escape me, and all I want to do is go home and paint still lifes. If only Rose Kennedy and Frances Farmer were still alive so that maybe we could get together and form a “Vacantly Stare at the Wall” Club. That would be...nice.


A side note; Zander my heart, you should not want to post anonymously. As one of the top two funniest people I have ever known you should want to proudly share your gift with the rest of the class.

Call me God Dammit! Its been too long!

How'd it get burned! How'd it get BURNED!!

Some guy named Francis sent this to me and my friends and I can’t get enough of it. Sometimes when I get a little down I play it and instantly my mood changes. It’s the best thing ever.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo

Apparently this picture is a still from the origional version of the cult classic.

I'm Not Going Anywhere

Check out this video from one of my favorite singers ever, Keren Ann. She is a French singer but has a few albums with some songs in English that are just as beautiful. The music is mellow and perfect for sitting out enjoying the lovely weather. I have seen her about 4 times whenever she comes to town and she is so sweet to sign my CDs and take pictures with me (we both look terrible in this one but there was a huge thunderstorm that night and I guess she got rained on too). There are usually only about 30 people at the little venues she plays so when I see her it feels extra special. I guess she is gaining a larger following because she is playing at World Café in June.

I will be there. Of course.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=G7t2jrVoGc0

Morrissey's Birthday (Observed)

It was on this day in 1959 that Steven Patrick Morrissey was thrust into this world via a gloomy Manchester, England and his mother’s womb. It was this beautiful ethereal man who turned being depressed into an art form. If it were not for him I would have never been able to annoy my friends at a bar by playing all Smiths songs on the jukebox, and I never would have read Oscar Wilde or wanted to kill myself*. I feel a tremendous amount of gratitude to this man for changing my life in 1997 when I first heard Suedehead on the radio. I was never the same again (the jury is still out whether that was a good or bad thing). After that my love for Morrissey and The Smiths grew and to this day those albums are top shelf listening in my home.

On this special day I suggest all of you take the time to think about all the positive impacts that Moz has had on your own life.

Viva Hate!

*ok, I never wanted to kill myself but in the spirit of Morrissey's birthday I think I am afforded the option to be a little morose.

My Sister Has Adulterous Lust in Her Heart

This weekend I went on a much needed weekend excursion to Rhode Island to see my sister, brother-in-law, and their cat Tena. Before Autumn's friend Wally’s graduation cocktail party my sister confessed that she had an “intellectual” crush on a Dr. Pilser, boldly in the car with her husband sitting right next to her. Despite Autumn’s complete lack of regard for her husband’s feelings, he played it cool though I think it was a front to hide his quiet suffering.

Though Autumn says that her attraction to Dr. Pilser is purely in an academic sense, I am beginning to wonder. My evidence: she pointed out his car, knows where he lives, and was very excited to see him when he arrived at the party. If she has nothing to hide why was she embarrassed that I took this snapshot of him? She is also afraid that Dr. Pilser is a secret Aut,Colleen fan and will read this. Although I probably get an envious 11 hits (or so) a day I doubt that he is one of them. I believe this fear is manifestation of her guilty conscience.

This home wrecking scientist is on the left in the dark blue sweater and her devoted husband special Ed is in the picture with me. Autumn, you should be ashamed of yourself!

A Very Special Dinner Party

So this is an email I received last week from Jessica Waber from the Education Department of the Philadelphia Theatre Company about a dinner I volunteered to host at our Trust Building on Locust Street Thursday.

Hi Colleen,

We are glad that Thursday works for you! The women’s group is called CCC#3 which stands for The Community Corrections Center #3. CCC is a residence for women who are under work release programs. They have done workshops with us in the past, and their coordinator, Dorothy Cunnigham, has told me they are really looking forward to the 24th.Mimi will be out of town that day, but thank you so much for stepping in. To confirm details: the light dinner and workshop will be Thursday, May 24th from 6:00 – 7:30. Thank you for providing the food. If there is anything we can contribute please let me know. Then we will be heading over to the play, Orson’s Shadow, which starts at 8:00pm. We are expecting no more than 22 women and I have reserved 35 tickets for us that night in case anyone else from New Century wants to join us at the play. Let me know if there is anything you need from us. We should probably touch base on Tuesday after the board meeting. Looking forward to the workshop. Thanks!

Jessica Waber

Corrections Center? I am hosting a dinner for 22 convicts?! Even stranger that they are taking them to a dark existential play about Orson Wells.

There goes my idea for a Indian buffet. I think the 4' hoagies may be a better choice.

Shoes Shoes Everywhere, But Not A Shoe For Me To Wear

We have established that I am out of the loop in respect to several aspects of modern American culture. I don’t have a computer, I just recently learned what the “raw” in a sexual context means, and I have no interest in purchasing a larger, flatter, better TV until mine poops out. Even then I will probably buy the cheapest one in the store that is on sale. I don’t have On Demand or Tivo and since I am not exactly sure of the benefits I don’t think I am missing out. The perk of my ignorance is by not caring about this stuff I am saving me money so I’m not rocking the boat on that one. I did recently purchase an iPod but in the month and a half I have had it I have only used it twice. It’s a total hook too. To fully reap the full benefits of the iPod one must also purchase all the accessories. More stuff I will have a hard time figuring out how to use. A waste of money for technology challenged girls like me. When I asked boys in my dorm to help me hook up my TV or computer I wasn’t trying to play a flirty damsel role. I honestly was helpless and still am. I will admit to having a crush on the Mac guy from the commercials but I think the allure of him is how he can help me with all the technical stuff I can’t be bothered with. Still, my biggest problem with the iPod is that I am like an old lady (the woman in the picture is how I imagine myself in 50 years) who talks to people in checkout lines or on corners waiting for the light to change and so on and my iPod (when I used it) turned out to be an unsuccessful distraction from my random socializing.

Moving on, today I came across another instance that made me feel like an alien amongst modern youth of the nation. Earlier this week I made plans to go running in Old City and Northern Liberties after work with a few of my friends from Pilates. I guess running would be a good time to use my iPod but I like running with a group. It reminds me of my old days on the XC team but without the dysmorphia and masochistic tendencies. So I was annoyed this morning when I went looking for my running shoes I found them in my back yard ravaged the recent foul weather. They were old anyway and I was due for a new pair so on my way to the bank I stopped in three shoe stores on Chestnut Street before finding a pair. I was shocked by the poor selection of women’s running shoes and the excessive options for casual athletic footwear. Now, I am a person who never wears sneakers unless I am going for a run. Even trips to the grocery store I put on a casual yet stylish shoe. Even in college I could never bring myself to wear sweats let alone pajama pants to class. I know not everyone is like me in this capacity but I was still amazed at this sneaker thing. While I waited for the lady to bring out a size 9 Nikes, I counted 65 sneakers that nobody would use for an athletic activity and 20 for actual sport. There were those Reebok high tops from the 80’s in 6 different colors. Even silver and pink swirly ones! Women’s running shoes, there were only 4. Now, I am not counting the vintage looking New Balances because I don’t think those are proper shoes for distance running. They just don’t offer the proper support and their trendiness puts them in the other category. Even then there were only a couple of them. There were shoes with a cat design in rhinestones and ones in obnoxiously fluorescent colors and not only that, most of these shoes were over a hundred dollars! A ridiculous amount of money for shoes that many nighttime establishments will not allow you past the front door for wearing. I found only two running shoes conservative enough for me to consider and sadly they were not on sale. It kills me to buy something at full price but this was my only option.

I love shoes. No, I LOVE shoes. From my red clogs in kindergarten to my Chanel stilettos I bought in the dressing room at Lohemans that I suspect were stolen, but I can’t get into this fancy sneaker thing. I am not going to feel bad about this like the iPod and computer thing because I doubt Carrie Bradshaw & Co. would be with me on this one.

A Whole Lot of Nothing

The past couple days I have been very tired despite taking naps on the floor of my dad’s office during lunch and when I get home. I am not sure if I am still recovering from the bad case of the womits I had on Monday (not a typo, Oczkowskis call throwing up “the womits”). I am still getting nauseas and I haven’t been eating much so it is a possibility that I may be malnourished. Another theory is I think I have been sleepwalking again because I woke up with a cut across my forehead and a bruise on a now swollen ankle Tuesday morning. Who knows? So, I am barely making through the workday and I feel sorry for everyone around me. Tired Colleen = Grumpy Colleen.

In other news, Louis the cat caught two mice this week. This is both good and bad. Good he caught it and bad because apparently we have mice. Anyone who claims to know me well knows that I am deathly afraid of rodents. This fear can be traced back to a traumatic experience as a child involving a dead mouse that I won’t get into but it was horrible. Horrible. The thing that I am afraid of is that Louis likes to play with the mouse corpse and Louis likes to bring his Pound Puppy Jermaine into my bed when he sleeps with me and the last thing I need is to wake up to a dead mouse. Though, I have woken up to worse.

Aside from this mouse issue my bathroom door has been acting up. Living alone for so long (and having no shame) resulted in my showering and doing my other business with the door open. As far as I know Clay has no problem with that but for some reason last night I closed the door when I took my shower and after I finished I found that I had locked myself in. I was stuck in there for an hour until Clay came home. Well, 15 minutes trying to get out and 45 minutes giving myself a pedicure and reading the November Vogue from 2004 I found in the linen closet.

Now some sad news. As you all know (or should) Doug from Bravo’s show Workout (left in the picture next to “sex girl” Rebecca, and “pissed Jackie turns hot straight women gay” Andre) died this past January and Clay and I are still in morning. Last night was the season recap with the cast and the Doug montage tore me up. He was such a cool guy and even though the show is only in its second season, I feel like I knew him. Clay and I named one of the garden gnomes after him in his honor.

There is some good news though. Looks like Michael Nutter is going to be our new mayor which is pretty fucking great. It is also just pretty fucking great we don't have to put up with that prick Street anymore. By the way, all you registered Independent jerk offs need to change your status because the primaries are where it all happens. Also, I have made it to a landmark page 100 in Leaves of Grass. 100 down, 5,638 more to go…

No wonder I am so sleepy and after reading this I bet you are too.

He Banged his Mother in an Outhouse, Remember?

After a day of vomiting and generally being miserable in my ill state yesterday I needed some cheering up.

Thank you dead Jerry Falwell!

Colleen is a C**t

I would like to say the MySpace/Facebook thing was totally bitchy of me. I realize it is hypocritical to criticize stupid things people are into as stupid interests are the bedrock of which the foundation of my personality is built upon. It was a classical case of criticizing what I don’t understand. I don’t understand it and it probably is because I am an old fart. And making fun of the models was a tad catty. Models are people too y'all!

No, You Can't Have My Numer Cos I Lost My Phone

In the past I have mentioned my fondness for (or sad acceptance) of/for going to see live music on my own, but I am a strong believer that going to shows, movies, quiet vacations, lunch and so on by yourself builds character. Sure it may be uncomfortable but that is only if you are constantly looking around wondering if people think that you don’t have any friends or that something is wrong with you. If that concerns you something is wrong with you and you need to get over it.

There is a downside to this I should mention, especially if you are a girl, if you go to things along you will get hit on. A lot. Unfortunately it isn’t always the cute guy you have been eyeing all night offering to buy you the beer. More often than not it is the lazy eyed, borderline little person who comes over to tell you that you have pretty ears and wants to do shots of Jaeger. Often a polite “thank you, but no” will do the trick but some just don’t take the hint. A single gal sometimes has to pull the fake boyfriend out of her bull shit arsenal. I have several and boy are they a motley crue. Here are a couple, some of whom you may be familiar with:

Robbie – an Evangelical Christian rapper from Wilmington Delaware who is working as an accountant for Aramark until he lands a record deal.

Lawrence – Stationed in Iraq. I press my lips together and look up like I am holding back tears and that usually does the trick.

Ben – My ex husband who is truck driver and we are trying to work things out. Oh, that reminds me, I need to give him a call. He’s on the road with the kids. He got full custody in the divorce.

Anthony – A cop from NE Philly. He’s extremely possessive and thinks I’m at my sister’s watching the kids. This is very effective if you nervously look over your shoulder a lot.

Basically you want to sound like someone they don’t want to talk to right off the bat.

2 hrs later…

I was going to go somewhere else with this but I just came back from a lunch date where I had two glasses of wine and in addition to the half of the Percocet I took this morning for my menstrual cramps I am feeling a bit loopy. I am just going to leave it at that. Good luck finding interesting ways to deter men (or women)!

Take A Bite of This

On June 3rd my favorite Philly band The Teeth are making an in store appearance at FYE on the fist floor on my office building (100 S. Broad). Stop by if you work near me. Also, I am hitting these two shows below if anyone wants to come with. New Hope is a really cool town so we can do dinner and walk around before the show. The Jefferson Sq. show should be fun too. No problem if you aren’t interested. I know I’m a loser. Such a loser I went to see them play at the Khyber on my birthday a couple years ago. Alone.

May 26 2007
8:00P
John and Peters
New Hope

Jun 20 2007
8:00P
Jefferson Square Park
Philadelphia

Since I am on the subject of how much of a loser I am I think I can pinpoint the lowest level of loserdom that I descended too. One Saturday night this winter I made dinner, poured a glass of wine, and settled in to watch a PBS documentary on the Shakers. No, not on TV, I rented it. Yes, I rented it.

Margaritas, Mojitos, and Sangria, Oh My!

Hey all! I guess a solid number of you received an evite from me and Clay. If not I’m sorry and shoot me an email to let me know I forgot. Then I will decide if I want you to come. I have been adding on more as I remember like my boss Mark who when opening the email bellowed from his office “Hey Colleen, what the fuck did you just send me”. I have been working overtime on my house and can’t wait for people to see how much progress I have made with the help of Dad, Tim, and Mike. I know some of you live far away but if you are looking for a weekend getaway you have a place to stay in Fishtown. My door is always open. I have an aerobed and fridge full of beer!

Sorry, I don’t mean to false advertise but there won’t be an ice luge at this party. Maybe if I have a Christmas party… I can’t think of a better way to celebrate the birth of Christ than kamikaze shots poured down a block of ice. Adeste Fideles!

Prepping for My June Party

I took off last Friday to dig up my entire back yard (12’x 8’) so I could sod it. It took 6 hours of ripping out grass and weeds, filling up holes, and leveling (which caused me to pull my hamstring). Laying the sod took 20 minutes. I was incredibly proud of myself of completing this task all by myself with one exception. I drove over to Home Depot to pick up the sod only to realize that 24 pieces of 5sq ft sod would not fit into my VW Golf. Not by a long shot. I called Tim and he came over with the truck to help me and shake his head at my lapse of judgment. When we got the sod home he asked if I needed any help laying it. I had dug up the yard all by myself and so of course I wanted to complete the easiest, most gratifying part of it the same way.

“Tim, it doesn’t take a brainiac to lay sod.”

“Colleen, it doesn’t take a brainiac to realize that you can’t fit a hundred square feet of sod in the trunk of your go-cart.”

Point taken. So I let Tim and my dad help me lay it. Amazingly we did not have to cut one piece as it fit perfectly like grass parquet to which Tim suggest we should ride this wave of good fortune and go buy some lottery tickets.

After they left I closed my eyes as I laid on my perfect lawn with spread arms and legs as if I was about to make a snow angel. After a few minutes my neighbor Jen came out to water her flowers. She doesn't have grass. A couple years ago before I moved in she did a faux terracotta patio. It looks very nice but I prefer grass.

“Hey Col, whatcha doing?”

Sigh, “Just hanging out."

I think Jen was jealous of my landscaping skills because I had also that morning planted flowers in my barrel out front and on railing box. The next day Jen had done hers… She got fancy cast iron window boxes last summer that I have been drooling over so I felt a little smug that now inching my way was setting the bar for out door aesthetics on E. Berks. Hers still looks better but I’m getting there. It’s on Jen!

Go To Your Happy Place

Its election time in Philadelphia and frankly I am exhausted. I'm voting Tom Knox for mayor and trying to convince everyone else that they should too with much success but even I am sick of hearing myself speak. I am tired to reading the newspapers and watching the debates. I am tired of listening to Philadelphians like myself bitch about what needs to be done here in "America's Next Great City" when I should just be happy that somebody other than deadbeat John Street is going to run the show. I am tired. Tired of hating Bush and Cheney, criticizing FEMA, GOP and... ugh.

Every once in a while I get sick of listening to music and may go a month without turning on my car radio or putting on CDs at home. I have a tendancy to overload my brain which can happen on occasion as I am not very intelligent. Sure, I know a ton of stuff about a ton of things but that doesn't make me smart. I can barely do basic arithmetic let alone figure out anything when it comes to computer except shop online.

For the past few weeks I haven't been able to relax. My nature is type A, tightly wound but my normal remedies to help me chill haven't been working. I'm a Leo and we are known to be intense and passionate people. So last night I made a concious descion to turn off CNN, put the CDs away, stop listening to NPR, close the books, and focus on cleaning my clutter plauged house in silence. As I was putting away my notebooks a clipping from a magazine I saved from a few years ago fell out. I think how it's message relates to my current state of mind is uncanny. After reading it I finally felt a little relief and so even though some might think it is cheesy I am going to share it with you. It is by Rumi, a 13th-century Sufi poet and it goes:

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."

Isn't that nice?

Perez Day!

Everybody who knows me knows I love Perez Hilton. Its on my daily. Today was a particularly special day as I found an email in my inbox from him replying to one I sent a couple weeks ago telling him how fab I thought he was. His reply:

Thanks for the email Colleen!
Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.
Sometimes I get swamped with email. I get over 5,000 a day. However, I read them all and I really do appreciate you sending me this.
Thanks again!
xoxo
Perez

Today was interesting too as I found a picture of Ginger Spice on Perez that looked just like my ex-friend Crazy Nicole (see pics).

Attention fellas: Perez posted an uncensored picture of the side of Natalie Portman's boob if you are interested.

Something for Everyone

Now that the weather is warmer it is the perfect time to sit outside, soak up some sun and read a book. Here are a few of my recommendations.

The Secret History – Donna Tart
Ok, I didn’t just read this but noticed it as I was re-organizing my bookshelf. Clay (bless his heart. He ment well) moved all my books around to make it look nicer but I had them in order. Mostly autobiographically, as in when I read them, kinda like the character Rob in High Fidelity did with his albums. This was not intentional but just how it worked out. I have on the end books I bought that I have not read yet and the exception is how I lumped books by the same author together. I am the only person who takes books out of there so it works for me (Keith, I want that Fran Lebowitz book back. Its been a year and if you haven’t read it by now you never will). Anyway, as I was moving the books around and I came across this one. I read this a few years ago and it is fantastic. Although it does not take place in the South is considered by many critics to be written in the style of a Southern Gothic novel. It is a little long but don’t let that deter you. Again, it’s fantastic.

Tepper isn’t Going Out – Calvin Trillin
I just read this and it’s short so I read it in the Hilary-style one sitting. Such a good little book. Funny, smart, endearing… basically classic Trillin. Good spring read.

Candide – Voltaire
Well, I don’t recommend reading this because it is pretentious and dull but I am quite proud of myself for completing it and wanted to tell someone. Is it part of the Canon? I wanted to punch out a classic and this one was the shortest I could find. Only ninety pages even though it felt like two hundred.

The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke – Suze Orman
I wouldn’t have used the word “broke” in the title because it is really for people just starting out who might have student loans, credit card debt, or not making a lot of money yet. It is a great too for setting up your finances and acquiring early on responsible spending habits. I had been wondering if I should put more towards paying off my student loans or put it into savings and she laid it out for me. If you are under 30 now is to set up your IRA and plan your financial goals for the future. She talks about how newly married or couples living together should keep some assets separate and which ones to share. She is straightforward and makes the book an entertaining read. Her lists and personal stories about being a personal finance advisor keep it from being a dry despite the subject matter. I am going to bring it to the little financial planning party my friends and I are having this weekend. I am going to go ahead and “nerd alert” myself and my close Philly buds for you.

Saucer of Milk, Table Two.

So my girl Chrystal and her wonderful friend Michelle went to see Christina Aguilera and the Pussycat Dolls last night in Atlanta. Now I have never been to a big pop act like them so I am very envious. Me, I went solo to see Mindy Smith at XPN World Café (yawn) last night. I was even more jealous when she told me about it.

I went to the Pussycat Dolls, Christina Aguilera show last night with Michelle. It was amazing! The Pussycat Dolls were actually quite good. They did a lot of dance routines that were really good. Christina’s show was awesome! She is so beautiful in person. We were only like 10 rows back from the stage so we could so her quite well. Her voice is amazing live. The show had several parts to it including a burlesque show, a 20’s speakeasy scene, and a carnival. The carnival part was really cool. She had girls on trapeze and swings and fire breathers and men on stilts and then she did the naughty boy song where she put this guy up on this big wheel and danced and sang all over him. It was really awesome. There was even confetti at the end that came out and blanketed the audience. Now that is entertainment right there!

As we all know I am not exactly a relationship girl and that applies to my TV habits. Sure, I rarely miss Grey’s but it’s not like I will drop everything to see it. So, you shouldn’t be surprised that I have flipped around and stopped and the Pussycat Dolls reality show where a bunch of hot girls battle to become the next Pussycat Doll. (I also love The Girls Next Door & DOG the Bounty Hunter) When I asked Chrystal about whether Asia, the winner on the show, was there I was surprised and a bit disappointed when she said no. I know Asia had a lot of trouble committing herself to the Dolls and being a teen mom and whatever but this does not compare to what Chrystal told me next:

Did you know that one of the Pussycat Dolls, Carmit, used to be a man named Kevin? I was just reading it online. And apparently the former lead singer for the group, before Nicole, took the penis that was removed from Kevin (Carmit) and put it on her and became a man named Joseph and now they are lovers. How weird is that?

Holy shit!

Timmy the Homeowner and Autumn the Scientist

My brother officially now owns real estate. He made settlement on a two bedroom house just a few blocks away from his big sister. It has a nice sized kitchen, bathroom, and an enviously large back yard. The day he moved in I came over like a good sister would to help him set up (when I say “help” I mean sitting on his couch drinking beer and watching Ghostbusters). Seriously though, he has a lot of wallpaper scraping ahead of him and I am ready and willing to lend a hand as he was so great to me when I moved into my house.

Most people would be a little put off by a sibling following their lead and setting up camp so close to them. My mother was peeved after she and my father moved to Jersey from Philly and her sister (my Aunt Patty) moved with Uncle Nick to onto the same street. I attribute my uncomfortable relationship with my cousin Rebecca to growing up in such close proximity. We share many of the same bad traits (vain, impatient, preoccupation with material possessions, talking shit, stuff like that…) and nobody likes to see that kind of reflection of themselves.

I digress. I happen to like my brother being so close. He has a flat screen TV with all the good extras and channels like HBO and lets me walk on over Sunday nights to watch the Sopranos. I am sad to say that I am the only one of my siblings that does not own a kegerator. But not every girl can go to their brother and sister’s houses and drink beer from the tap. Tim will also help me lift heavy things and set up electronic equipment; tasks that I am hopelessly lost on.

All in all I got a pretty sweet set up.

That is not the only great accomplishment lately in the O clan. May 19th I am going up to Rhode Island to see my sister graduate. Dr. Autumn is getting her PhD in biological oceanography. As the premiere smarty pants in our family I am ridiculously proud of her and applaud, nay, stand up and cheer for her and her great accomplishment.

I have done nothing lately to make mom and dad proud. I got to come up with something good quick so I prove that I am worthy of love...