I have mentioned my fondness for (or sad acceptance) of/for going to see live music on my own, but I am a strong believer that going to shows, movies, quiet vacations, lunch and so on by yourself builds character. Sure it may be uncomfortable but that is only if you are constantly looking around wondering if people think that you don’t have any friends or that something is wrong with you. If that concerns you something is wrong with you and you need to get over it.There is a downside to this I should mention, especially if you are a girl, if you go to things along you will get hit on. A lot. Unfortunately it isn’t always the cute guy you have been eyeing all night offering to buy you the beer. More often than not it is the lazy eyed, borderline little person who comes over to tell you that you have pretty ears and wants to do shots of Jaeger. Often a polite “thank you, but no” will do the trick but some just don’t take the hint. A single gal sometimes has to pull the fake boyfriend out of her bull shit arsenal. I have several and boy are they a motley crue. Here are a couple, some of whom you may be familiar with:
Robbie – an Evangelical Christian rapper from Wilmington Delaware who is working as an accountant for Aramark until he lands a record deal.
Lawrence – Stationed in Iraq. I press my lips together and look up like I am holding back tears and that usually does the trick.
Ben – My ex husband who is truck driver and we are trying to work things out. Oh, that reminds me, I need to give him a call. He’s on the road with the kids. He got full custody in the divorce.
Anthony – A cop from NE Philly. He’s extremely possessive and thinks I’m at my sister’s watching the kids. This is very effective if you nervously look over your shoulder a lot.
Basically you want to sound like someone they don’t want to talk to right off the bat.
2 hrs later…
I was going to go somewhere else with this but I just came back from a lunch date where I had two glasses of wine and in addition to the half of the Percocet I took this morning for my menstrual cramps I am feeling a bit loopy. I am just going to leave it at that. Good luck finding interesting ways to deter men (or women)!
3 comments:
Let's see... Robbie sounds like a loser right off the bat. Christian rappers are not hot, just lame. Lawrence is never coming back. The government is just taking their sweet ass precious time to tell you that. Anthony sounds like a restraining order waiting to happen. You have enough drama in your life without him. I think Ben is your best option. At least you are trying to work it out. Maybe he could get a nice stable job in Philly somewhere and not have to be on the road as much. You should get rid of the kids though. They are just weighing you down. Maybe give them to Robbie. He seems like he could take care of them pretty well.
What about that nice Jewish boy who works in trading....or was it insurance, I can't remember. What's up with him?
I really think you should bring back an actual blast from the past... like Leet, the Alaskan fisherman. Although that one actually sounds just hokey enough to be a false boyfriend.
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