Some people go their whole lives without seeing other people having sex. In real life, not porn. Not yours truly. Of course not, I’m Colleen and stuff like this just happens to me. I am only 26 and today marks the second time I walked in on people doin the nasty in the workplace. The first time was when I was working as an innkeeper at 1790 Inn when I was living in Savannah. The horribleness of that particular incident was two fold. I’ll explain. It was a bellhop and a housekeeper on the floor naked with The View on the TV. The second part is that I was bringing guests to that room so I was not alone in witnessing the intimate act. I was only 21 at the time but I recovered well by lying and saying that they were two guests that had apparently not checked out of the room yet and then upgraded the couple to the honeymoon suite. At that point I was in college nudity didn’t bother me. I was exposed to many nude models in my life drawing classes and even remember one late night party at this club above this restaurant when for some reason or another we all took off our clothes and hung out in our underpants and various states of undress. That was when beds in nightclubs were all the rage and I guess maybe that is what prompted it but I do remember my friend Olga was the first one to strip down. It seemed like a good idea to follow suit at the time.
Back to today; I was going down into the basement to get some batteries for my walkie when I walked in on Stanley, our security guard and what appeared to be a hooker (or someone in inappropriate daytime attire) doin it and doin it and doin it well. Awkward. I immediate left without saying a word and without my battery.
I had to tell my boss. That is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Back to today; I was going down into the basement to get some batteries for my walkie when I walked in on Stanley, our security guard and what appeared to be a hooker (or someone in inappropriate daytime attire) doin it and doin it and doin it well. Awkward. I immediate left without saying a word and without my battery.
I had to tell my boss. That is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
This forced me deeper into my increasingly catatonic state.
3 comments:
I like the LL Cool J reference.
I myself have had the pleasure of seeing others have sex in real life as well. All of them involve my former roommate in college. Actually one time I was a prop for the impromptu drunk sex taking place. She thought I was asleep, or maybe she just forgot I was in that bed in the first place. However, I woke up during, partly because of the noise, partly because I had to use the bathroom, and partly because of the extra body part dangling over my midsection. Talk about awkward. I did not go to the potty and I politely waited until they were done. It was mildly amusing, but incredibly uncomfortable too. We laughed about it later though.
Oh yeah, and I walked in on my parents "reconciling" during a separation in the tub of the hotel room we were staying in because our house was under construction. I was like 6 so I really didn't understand at the time, but looking back, it was gross.
I remember both of those stories. Especially the one with Jenn on the bed. I would have flipped if it was me.
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