I Wish I had A Sylvia Plath

Late Saturday afternoon I was feeling a little down so after a little nap I rolled off the couch and headed over to TLA Video on Spring Garden. I do not have Netflix, nor do I patronize Blockbuster, Hollywood Video, or any other large commercial video rental. Not that I don’t think that their deals are great which they are but TLA is different. It’s like a mom and pop establishment with employees that really knowtheir movies. They have guided my rentals when I have asked what their opinion of the best Norwegian thriller is or what documentary was best for understanding the Spanish Civil War and can even quote Katherine Hepburn lines from A Philadelphia Story. I will admit it, I have been tempted to jump on the Netflix bandwagon for the convenience and I always seem to accumulate late fees. I just can’t do it. I feel like I would be cheating on them and that they would feel the same. Not only can I rely on them to offer me personalized service, but they are also some of the funniest people I have ever met. They know me by name but as I found out that balmy Saturday, they actually really care about me.

I entered the store looking quite disheveled. My clothes didn’t match, my hair was like a blond cotton ball from not blowing it out and letting it air dry in the humidity, no makeup, and a substantial cut down my leg from walking into the foot board of my bed and I was just to lazy to clean the wound. I hadn’t fully woken up from my nap so I walked in a daze around the store before I finally made my selection.

“Hi guys. I would like Sophie’s Choice, Days of Heaven, Babel, and The Sweet Hereafter.

They both looked at each other and the following verbal exchange ensued:

“No. I will only rent three of those to you.”

“What? Why the hell not?”

“We are going to have to cut you off… like a bartender would.”

“I thought you people weren’t supposed to judge? (I sigh) Just give me the movies.”

“Colleen, this selection is obviously a cry for help. We don’t want you to do something foolish and have to read about it in the paper. We would be losing one of our best customers.”

“Well, although I am slightly put off by your motivation I appreciate your concern. I’m not in the mood to argue with you so I’ll drop The Sweet Hereafter.”

“Do you want to offset all this with Arsenic and Old Lace? I know you really like that movie.”

“No thanks.”

“Here, we have a copy for sale but you can have it for free if you promise to not rent so many movies that could have you buying razor blades and running a hot bath. You won’t get all Esther Greenwood on us now? You don’t have a crawl space do you?”

“(Rolling my eyes) No, and I promise. Thanks you guys. Its really sweet that you care but I’m fine, really. I just always wanted to see those movies.”

“Ok. We care about you and don’t like to see you like this. You usually have a noteworthy balance in your rentals.”

“I’m glad you note that. Bye now.”

“Take care.”

Would Netflix monitor my selections and evaluate whether I can handle so much depressing drama? I think not. I think I’m ok. Though, I have had a strange craving for Pink Floyd lately.

Now, if they would only wave my late fees…