I'm still alive

I am on a little Christmas hiatus but will be back with tons of posts for the new year.

Happy Christmas my loves!

Hope you hang out in your PJs all day like I do on Chistmas.

Move over Ringo...

I just found out that Amy Adams, my favorite actress these days, and I share the same birthday (August 20th)! She is a few years older than me but I still find this to be very cool.

This begs the question, should I dye my hair red like my fellow Leo? I wonder if I have the skin tone for it… I am quite pale too.

Did you see her Junebug? She’s fantastic! I can’t wait to see Enchanted.

p.s. sorry I haven’t been posting – I have been terribly busy with work and other various grown-up stuff.

What do you think?

"It was a little sexist. It paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys." — Katherine Heigl, on last summer's smash comedy "Knocked Up"

I really enjoyed Knocked Up but I think she is right. Your thoughts?

Hanukkah: The Jewish Christmas

I want to wish a Happy Hanukkah to God's chosen people!

"The DJ that speaks to my insomnia and laughs at all I have to fear"

I am often asked “Colleen, how can one woman be so apprised in the music sphere? You blow my mind with your erudition and thought provoking insights.” Well, my little coterie, it doesn’t happen overnight. I wasn’t born with this but I was born with an intense personality that helps facilitate my insatiable need for music that helps my life make sense.

Also, I have YRock on XPN. I listen to it all day at work, in my car, and at home. http://www.yrockonxpn.org/

Their focus is on contemporary alternative music but they will often play artists who influenced said music so if you stick with the program you will develop a familiarity with the roots of alternative, punk, and rock. Plus you get to listen to marvelous new music and wonderful DJs who really know their stuff.

Program Director Jim McGuinn (see picture with him hanging with Iggy Pop and with an autographed guitar – I think he looks like Sting) is my musical guru and I am his devoted disciple. He understands that music isn’t just music. It is emotive and visceral to people like he and I. It’s life blood and like life it is a learning process.

Go forth with this knowledge and touch lives.

Title is from the Dar Williams' song "Are you out there"

Maybe If Camping Looked Like This...

Always had a roof above me

Always paid the rent

but I've never set foot inside a tent

Can't build a fire to save my life

I lied about being the outdoor type

I've never slept out underneath the stars,

the closest that I came to that was one time my car

broke down for an hour in the suburbs at night

I lied about being the outdoor type.

Too scared to let you know

you knew what you were looking for

I lied until I fit the bill

God bless the great indoors

I've never owned a sleeping bag never rode a mountain bike

I lied about being the outdoor type

I can't go away with you on a rock climbing weekend

What if somethings on TV and its never shown again?

Its just as well I'm not invited I'm afraid of heights

I lied about being the outdoor type

Never learned to swim
can't grow a beard or even fight

I lied about being the outdoor type

-Evan Dando's The Outdoor Type from the Lemonhead's Car, Button, Cloth album

I didn’t lie about it and now I think a certain manboy doesn’t like me because of that. So what? It’s not like I’m a shut-in. It is just so typical because guys will roll their eyes at large salon bills or make up clutter then proceed to talk about how they want a woman that will be "cool" enough to sit around watching football drinking beer and eating hot dogs. Yet, they don’t want a woman who looks like she sits around drinking beer and eating hot dogs all the time. They want some mythical There’s Something About Mary-type woman who wakes up with an airbrush perfect face and Breck girl hair.

Sure, I would not be compatible with someone who’s only idea of vacation is camping or likes to hunt or climb mountains in the winter and icky stuff like that. I get it, but for someone with a generally active interest in something that I am not inclined to enjoy, it shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t expect some guy to share my passion for gossip magazines or be a music know-it-all like I am. I would not make someone feel bad that I have to attend an avant garde installation exhibit with lecture solo. I would prefer to enjoy it without worrying about that person being bored and be able to linger as long as I want.

Why can't people celebrate the differences? To each her/his own.

I am what I is. I don’t false advertise. Take it or leave it.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38308

Where is Amnesty International?

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/africa/11/30/sudan.bears/index.html

No mention of Amnesty yet. I send them $50 a year so do you think that is enough of a contribution to complain about their lack of involvement in this poor woman's defense? This story had me really upset since I first read about it. Especially since Autumn is in an Islamic country at the moment.

Lashings? Execution? Imprisonment? Are you angry too?

Ugh.

Sorry I haven't been posting with the same zeal as I have in the past. It is just that I have been super busy at work lately. So much going on here. I have a few ideas for posts and I am hoping to get them up here soon. I am also working on my Holiday Mix for everyone.

Removal

I removed the last post because it was not only innapropriate but also insensitive. It is never funny when someone dies. David Letterman said that when asked why he refused to joke about the OJ Simpson case. He is a classy guy. I guess I thought it was ok since I truly believe that she had nothing to do with his death. I just got caught up in the excitment of personally knowing someone involved in such a sensational story. Still, that is no excuse. I'm sorry.

It is kinda sad that I have a "Sorry" post label.

The World Spins Madly On

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1419604348

I have been working feverishly to get my Christmas CD done so that I can have it out to you in the mail by Black Friday. You don't have to request this time; I will send them out to all of you. This will again be a double disc and it will be a blended album with some of my favorite Holiday songs along with a sampling of new music I have been listening to. Probably something from the new Band of Horses album as well a song from The Weepies (check out the sweet claymation video for "The World Spins Madly On") and of course some surprises. I strive for balance when creating these things. I don't just throw these things together haphazardly!

Like Rob said in Nick Hornby's wonderful book High Fidelity - when if comes to making mix tapes (CDs) "There are a lot of rules."

Best haircut. Ever.

I guess he is supposed to be The Edge?

This cut is very different from mine but part of wished I didn't cut it.

You know what they say about hair... it grows back.

The New Queen of Mean

You can cut the tension in this office with a machete today for which I am partly responsible. Long story short I told the office manager to “Chill the fuck out” yesterday. Not my finest moment, I know. Not terribly classy or diplomatic either. Those words did not just fly out of my mouth unexpectedly in a way that would cause me to clasp my hand over my mouth in shock either. No, those words were deliberate and clearly enunciated – forced out after wrestling and losing to my better judgment and leaving my frontal lobe in a frozen panic from the impending verbal faux pas.

The argument that spurred my inappropriate language was one where I was in the right. Sadly, my position lost a measurable amount of credibility when I dropped the F-bomb. I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew what I was dealing with (Keith once said “you can’t fight crazy”) and yet instead of diffusing the situation I provoked it for the cheap thrill of winding someone up. This is not to say that I wasn’t legitimately pissed off but to exhibit behavior which can only be described as petulant was not in anyone’s best interest. Because the rest of the office knows that the scary bitch in me has woken I was not adequately reprimanded. I was told, as a side note, to keep the vulgar language in check later by my boss.

Which brings us to today… I have not apologized for my poor choice in words and acting like a total asshole in general - yet. I think I should but I would have to find out how to and still make it clear that I was not in the wrong. I did this. I am responsible for upsetting things.

Maybe I will write it in a note card with cute kittens on the cover. That might be a good idea. She like cats. She has 12.

( the pic is of Leona Helmsley and the dog she left her millions too. she is famous for being a massive bitch)

So there I was . . . just relaxing in front of the T.V. when the kids yelled, "Hey Dad, come see the kittens."

Someday I'll finish "The Executioners Song" and maybe then I will understand

I’ve always thought Ted Bundy was kind of dreamy. He went to Temple at the same time as my mom and dad did.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/62172?GT1=10450

I’m here all alone in my office bored so I’ve been doing some putzing around on news sites.

You can find me in St. Louis rollin on dubs

Seems like everywhere she goes somebody wants to know what Kate Ryan thinks about art and architecture these days. Nobody gives a shit what I think but that doesn’t stop me from talking and talking and talking about it. Maybe they can tell just by looking at her that she has her Masters from SCAD. Not me.
Nope. Not me.

Anywho, she emailed this to me this morning:

I was in St. Louis last weekend. It was a really, really cool town. We went to the Arch on Saturday (see link, turn on caption). We were also photographed at the 10th anniversary of the City Museum on Friday. This is one of the coolest museums I've been to. It has an aquarium in it, and a whole bunch of reclaimed architectural elements, from bank vaults to building facades to gargoyles, and a indoor carnival/circus, and a thrift store. And, it has this whole big maze of plastic and metal tubes and slides running throughout its many levels, kinda like a hamster cage. Anyway, We were interviewed and photographed, like, 4 times at different places we went to. I guess the arch picture was the only one that was used. It was nuts. They must be familiar with my American Folk Art Museum interview.

http://www.stltoday.com/mds/news/html/643

They Egged Every House on My Street Last Night - Including Mine.

Asshole kids. Washing egg off brick is a kick in the pants.

Rosebud

The Union Forever

It can't be love

for there is no true love

It can't be love

for there is no true love

Sure I'm C.F.K.

but you gotta love me

the cost no man can say

but you gotta love me

Well I'm sorry but I'm not

interested in gold mines, oil wells, shipping or real estate

what would I liked to have been?

everything you hate

cause It can't be love

for there is no true love

It can't be love

for there is no true love

There is a man

a certain man

and for the poor you may be sure

that he'll do all he can

who is this one
who's favourite son
just by his action has the traction
magnets on the run
who likes to smoke
enjoys a joke
and wouldn't get a bit
upset if he were really broke
with wealth and fame
he's still the same
I'll bet you five you're not alive

If you don't know his name

You said the union forever

You said the union forever
You cried the union forever
but that was untrue girl
cause It can't be love
for there is no true love

It can't be love
for there is no true love

Last night I finally watched Citizen Kane for the first time. It’s phenomenal (of course) but the most enjoyable part for me was discovering that the lyrics from the White Stripes song “The Union Forever” are taken from the movie. I have previously expressed my deep affection for that band and especially for the White Blood Cells album so I was quite tickled to realize that the song I would sing along to in college was actually about Charles Foster Kane/Orson Wells/William Randolph Hearst. The bulk is taken from the song the showgirls sing (see picture) but there are lines picked up from different places in the movie. Neat.

You learn something new everyday.

Calling all Troups

I haven’t been able to think of anything to write about these past couple months. More accurately I haven’t tried to think of anything because I usually don’t have to. Last night Keith was over to help me carve pumpkins and listen to me kvetch about this unfortunate block. He said that the post about my candle of the month was one of his favorites and that actually came out of a facetious off handed suggestion. “Wow Colleen. Your candle shopping process is so fascinating. You should blog about it.” Blog about it I did! And what a glowing success! (No candle pun intended)

This is where you come in. I need your suggestions.
Many of you know me well so pick a topic or story I can really run with.

-For some reason the idea of Lance Bass having a book deal upsets me greatly. Out of Sync, Really? I feel sorry for the editor (ghostwriter) who had to pen this piece of shit. Just look at the cover shot! What a fag.

This is What Sad Looks Like

I'm sorry I have not been posting but I have been pretty busy and preoccupied lately. Hopefully I'll think of something to post soon. BTW, the last two posts were taken down cos they were only ment to be temporary for venting.

Hadass sent me this picture. This speaks volumes to anyone who has ever tried to wash a cat. Not an easy job.

As you know I am unapologetic when it comes to my love of felines. I think they are hilarious.

Kate is the new Sister Wendy. Remember her? No? Ok.

You all know my good friend Kate Ryan from her witty bon mot comments here on Aut, Colleen or you may remember her as the helpful sales associate at the nautical themed children’s clothing retailer Kids Ahoy! several years ago in Savannah. Well, now you can all see her being accosted by a roving camera crew and coercing her to articulate her feelings about the Museum of American Folk Art in New York. What a daunting task! Especially for someone with their MFA. Click on the link and she is Kate R (obviously) and as an added bonus click on Mike R and you can see one of the fabulous Ryan boys in action.

http://nwhyc.com/reviews.php?catID=4&vid=99

Sadly, Sheila the butt sex girl was not in attendance and therefore could not be interviewed.

Speaking of butt sex, I am reading Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer and it is SO dirty! Like Marquis de Sade dirty. Its really good though...

whatever. etc.

This morning I woke up unexpectedly on my couch – again. Lately I have been sleepwalking which is a significant manifestation of cumulative stress or general abnormal preoccupation that comes and goes in me. This peculiar way of waking pretty much sets the tone for the rest of my day that follows – or more accurately, falters - thereafter: I am a girl who can’t concentrate lately and so my posting has been less frequent and lacking of, well, me.

I like to make my postings consistent to keep interest consistent otherwise my friends and family would stop checking daily like I am constantly flattered they do. As a result I would have to be sending out emails saying “hey guys! I wrote something witty and worth reading! Check it out. Love me again!” To keep that desperate situation at bay I will post some brief thought evoking or at least pleasant (exempli gratia: the cute kids and the pigeon thing) item. So, to buy me some time I offer you this:

Who do you like more, Maureen Dowd or Arianna Huffington (Dowd is the Jessica Rabbit looking redhead)? I check out the Huffington Post daily and just finished Dowd’s tongue in cheek book "Are Men Necessary?" and try to read her twice weekly New York Times op-ed column.

They are both heroes of mine for their intelligence and uncompromised femininity in the male dominated world of American politics. If you are not familiar with either you can just decide who you think is hotter which is a valid judgment of character in my warped superficial opinion.

Cute Kid Time

Send me pictures of your favorite babies!

Fly with me lesbian seagull

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Kqy9hxhUxK0

I like how she speeds up for her getaway.

The title is an Englebert Humperdink song. You may recognize it from the classic film Bevis and Butthead do America.

Halloween Head

Some old and some new make up my Halloween Head double disc mix to get you in the mood for my favorite season. Apple cidar, pumpkins, leaves changing colors, cozy sweaters… Ahh. I know I have been bad getting the last few out to some of you but this time it’s different, I swear. I am going to be sending them with stolen postage from work so email your requests with your addy to my ASI email.

Breaking Up – Rilo Kiley
Wonderful Scar – Now its Overhead
September - Earth, Wind, & Fire
Gabriel and the Vagabond – Foy Vance
Halloween Head – Ryan Adams
Graceland – Paul Simon
Worked Up So Sexual – The Faint
My Moon My Man - Feist
Ah, my girl Feist… My Dad and I are totally diggin’ her new album.
Colleen – Half Japanese
This song was written for me. At least I like to pretend it was.
Back Where I Was – The Hereafter
People Have Parties - Sorry About Dresden
Explosions – The Mary Onettes
November - Azure Ray
Otherwise – Morcheeba
Hey Eugene! – Pink Martini
I let my dad pick out this song for the mix.
Girl in the War – Josh Ritter
Old Whore’s Diet – Rufus Wainwright
The gay Messiah is coming y’all. To The Mann that is and I missed it. It broke my heart to give up that ticket. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Its over so lets move on.
Maggie May- Rod Stewart
Brighter Discontent – The Submarines
Life in Disguise – The Slip
These Photographs - Joshua Radin
Dead Leaves On the Dirty Ground – The White Stripes
Oh, Canada Girls - Dar Williams
Pumpkin Soup – Kate Nash
Breakable – Ingrid Michaelson
Swan Swan H. – R.E.M
Mississippi – Dixie Chicks
Don’t throw stones at me but I like this version better than the original by Bob Dylan.
The Scientist – Aimee Mann
Smile – Madeline Peyroux or Lyle Lovett or Nat King Cole
I am letting you pick which version you want to cap off your new favorite compilation.

Cruise, Cruise, Baby

I don't know what to say about this YouTube video my sister's science nerd friends made. You just have to watch it. Autty is about 3 minutes in and its an overhead shot of her doing something sciencey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjTbPtv88sI


That is Stephen Hawking floating there just in case you didn't recognize him out of his computer wheelchair.

Get a room please

For the longest time I just assumed that my discomfort with touchy feely PDA it was my problem to deal with. Mind you, I am not talking about casual hand holding, hugs, or brief kisses though I personally think hand holding is cheesy and awkward but it doesn’t bother me to see others do it. I actually find those things to be very endearing and necessary. It's the other stuff and you know what I mean.

Although I come from an extremely close and loving family we are not couch spooners or neck nuzzlers with spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends. Part of my distaste for it is because I just find it downright tacky as well as lacking a certain amount of class. Have you ever seen a picture of Jackie Kennedy sucking on John’s neck? Have you ever seen one of Britney doing that (or something even more cringe worthy) to K-Fed? Exactly. Like private parts, private acts should be kept, well, private.

Those things should be done when only the participants are present no matter how close you may be to the unfortunate third party. It was my sister who validated my feelings when she agreed with me describing that behavior as “alienating”. One of my favorite married couples, Corey and Leslie, joke about how they were one of those annoyingly saccharine couples when they first began dating back in college. Leslie pointed out that the closer she and Corey cuddled on the couch the farther away their friends went. I met these two years later and have never known them to act like this which I guess is why I love to hang out with them. In that same vein, I am not afraid this post will offend any of my friends who may read this as I don't know any of them to act this way.

A couple nights ago I was at XPN Live to see Suzanne Vega where I encountered the grossest display of “affection” I have seen in a long time. After the opener I got myself a beer at the bar I sauntered over to the balcony to find a spot with an unobstructed view of the stage. I could not believe my luck when I found one right up front! What luck, though how odd that people were not moving forward into the closer spot? I soon found out why. This couple… this couple… The man was leaning on the railing and she was leaning into him in full embrace. As if this wasn’t enough to make me barf the guy was constantly rubbing this girl’s back and arms while she was kissing his face and neck. What am I to do? Should I give up this great spot or see if I can endure this? I was torn until their hummus plate arrived and I couldn’t take it anymore. They opted not to sit at the bar or at a table but have him hold the plate while she loaded up the warm pita slices and hand fed him each bite following them up with a kiss. Hell, why doesn’t she just smear the hummus on her neck so he can lick it off?

Once I moved I was able to relax and enjoy the show though I was still bothered by the lack of regard this couple had for the people around them. Did they think that we would be jealous or think “wow, they are so in love” instead of “wow; those two are really behaving inappropriately”? Sure, some would agree with me that often times the reason rooted in insecurity where they feel as though they need to have people see that someone does care for them and or find them attractive to make the relationship more real. But, does that make me cynical? And some could argue that I am jealous though I would point out that I was in a medium sized music venue full of couples of all ages only annoyed by these two people. This is something Dr. Klenk and I have discussed when I thought that I must have some emotional issues that are causing me to react this way and then subsequently how I always assume that the something is wrong with me. She assured me that there is not.

Your thoughts on this?

note: I chose this picture in hopes to entice my furry fan friends. I like to think they still read Aut, Colleen.

If you are bored at work today give Jean a visit

My friend Woody (http://www.luckiestmanonearth.com/) hasn't been doing too much updating over the past year which makes me blue.

Luckily (not luckiest woman on earth lucky) I found Jean Teasdale's site of her very own: http://hometowns.cyber-net-village.com/Orlando/7302/Rick/sportzone/misc/folders/Jean/

Sure, its not real and most of you are already familiar with her but it still made me laugh so hard I peed a little. Then I start to think that maybe that I will end up like Jean in 15 or so years. I like cats, fiction, and around the holidays Thomas Kinkade things are somewhat charming...

This guy in my Art After 1945 class did a presentation on Thomas Kinkade. I swear to God! I wish I could have captured the expressions on the other student's faces. The kicker? He got the same grade as I did on my presentation (with slide show) on Issey Miyake A-POC fashion installations. Ridiculous huh? Keep in mind that this was that class with the English bitch.

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

So, a security guard for one of our buildings called me today to tell me Patti LaBelle was in to go to see my friend Johnathan at Metro Laser... He has a strict confidentially policy and can't and won't reveal his clients names (how Heidi Fleiss of him) but he will say that he does see her florist. Think about it.

-Oh, and I have short hair now! It was liberating to cut it all off. I really like it and a homeless man called me "hot stuff" this morning and that is all the validation I need.

Come on, don't be shy. You have such a pretty face.

I was just thinking that Perez puts pictures up of people who read his blog and so should I. My blog just as popular as his. So send me some pictures that have you in them and I will post it along with a personalized story about how this one time we got drunk and something funny happened. If you are friends with me there most likely is one.

More Feedback Requested

I feel restless and need a change.

Do you think I should cut my hair short? Above the shoulders short.

I would go this blond if I took the plunge.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Question for Discussion:

Should you date someone your friends dislike?

Please do not include anything about me and my unfortunate track record when posting your answers.

- Maybe I shouldn't use the word unfortunate since with most of the guys I dated I stayed friends.

Cheers Candace!

Lately one of my favorite neighbors is getting quite a bit of overdue press. Without the hot pink glow of her gallery sign it would be much more difficult for people to find my street. She also has the best gallery shows ever with lots to eat and drink!

Its great to see my friends start to get the credit they deserve for being so amazing!
http://www.citypaper.net/articles/2007/08/16/candace-karch

http://www.bambiproject.com/

Let us examine my literary bed sores

Obviously I have been reading a lot more than usual lately so I am going to just include two or three books in my famous book review posts at a time as to not overwhelm you. I have been putting off doing a book post for a while because I am a bit overwhelmed myself. Over the past month or so I have blazed through a staggering eleven, yes eleven, books. It is a personal record that I doubt I will ever beat. Geez, I hope I don’t ever have another opportunity to beat it. Anywho, lets get started shall we?

Everyman – Philip Roth
“Yet, what he learned was nothing when measured against the inevitable onslaught that is the end of life. Had he been aware of the mortal suffering of every man and woman he happened to have known during all his years of professional life, of each one’s painful story of regret and loss and stoicism, of fear and panic and isolation and dread, had he learned of every last thing they had parted with that had once been vitally theirs and of how, systematically, they were being destroyed, he would have had to stay on the phone through day and into the night, making another hundred calls at least. Old age isn’t a battle; old age is a massacre.”

This is the first Philip Roth novel for me. I knew that he was some brilliant, widely quoted, Pulitzer Prize winning writer, and from what I read off the book’s cover, a recipient of a Penn/Faulkner award, but I avoided reading him because I got the impression he was all doom and gloom. As you can tell from that little sample, he sure is. This novel is about an average man, an everyman if you will, struggling with his own mortality while looking back over his life and measuring his failures against the good that may have come from his unextraordinary life. Despite that fact that I am not an old Jewish man approaching death I connected with this book. There seemed to be this detached panic that comes from knowing and accepting death will triumph and that idea sinking in while knowing you are completely powerless against it that seemed pliable enough to relate to any difficult situation where you know eventually you just have to bite the bullet. Maybe that’s just me. Regardless, after some time passes and I start to forget about this book and my reevaluated thoughts on death subside when my attention is given to the new fall TV lineups, I think the following quote will remain with me as enduring and poignant:
“There is no remaking reality. Just take it as it comes. Hold your ground and take it as it comes.”

The Painted Word – Tom Wolfe
This I picked up in the Art Theory section of the National Gallery’s bookstore in DC. I took my bad mood and sulked over to this book and away from my mother who was picking out Kandinsky prints for her
classroom. What a fantastic little book! I loved it. The idea of the book is based on the following:

“Realism does not lack its partisans, but it does rather conspicuously lack a persuasive theory. And given the nature of our intellectual commerce with works of art, to lack a persuasive theory is to lack something crucial – the means by which our experience of the individual works is joined to our understanding of the values they signify.”

I know what you are thinking : YIKES! Forget that because he breaks it down in this funny social criticism where he uses his enthusiastic voice to sift through all the art world rhetoric. Though Wolfe is an expert on contemporary art theory, he writes as if he is an outsider or an anthropologist of the art world which he refers to as le monde. Best of all, this book is just over a hundred pages. All books on art should be so concise.

"You're Like a Whitney Houston Song and I'm Like Whitney Houston After Everything Went Wrong"

That is a lyric off the hereafters' self titled album which I think is pretty great.

I also think this picture is pretty amazing. I don't know who these kids are or where I found this online or if whoever took it realized its subliminal brilliance but maybe that is part of what makes it so interesting to me. The colors, the composition, the emotion carried between the indoor and outdoor space with the child at the window creating three distinct planes... I could easily write an essay on this picture. I won't, but I could.

I wonder if this would qualify as "found art".

Put your feet up and scoot your tush closer to me

Meet my gynecologist Dr. X. (I am witholding his identity because I had a dream he found this blog and then dropped me as a patient. I don't think I could handle that kind of rejection/embarrassment right now. But, if you want you can click on the link to his book if you are really curious.)

He is ranked one of the top 10 ob/gyns in the country! Only the best for me. I have a huge crush on him even though I am well aware that may not be healthy (although I am told it is not uncommon) and I know it is bad of me to I think he gives me the best breast exams I have ever had (he warms up his hands first and is very thorough ). Even sadder, I read his book. http://www.amazon.com/Reclaiming-Desire-Keys-Finding-Libido/dp/1579546838/ref=pd_bbs_2/105-0004655-0360456?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188503259&sr=8-2
Yes, it seems he really understands a woman’s needs. His wife is a very lucky woman.

Isn’t he handsome? He always gives me a hug and kiss on the cheek after the exam and once he told me I was "a cutie". He also gave me his cell phone number if I ever have any concerns or problems. Does your gyno do that?

So at this point I'm completely outing myself as a total loser but I did fail to mention that Dr. X was a concert promoter in the 80s (when he was in college) for big acts like Ray Charles, Run DMC, and 10,000 Maniacs. How amazing is he?

Guess Who's Getting A Kitchen Aid Mixer?

Its my Villanova roommate Carolyn who just got engaged to one fine looking Aussie accountant. Congratulations!

Flowers in the Attic

Did you ever see that movie? It was one of the most popular made-for-TV movies of all time and my sister and I loved it. It was taken from one of those cheesy cut out cover horror novels you can find in drug stores alongside the regular old bodice rippers and big sellers like She’s Come Undone, Lovely Bones, The Secret, and whatever new Tom Clancy/John Grisham vehicle the publishing houses are pushing. I thought the book was riveting with its adult subject matter and curse words since I must have been around 12 at the time. It was something about these kids who lost their father and were left penniless so they and their mother moved back into her parent’s house. The kids were kept hidden in the attic by their sociopath grandmother who tells them that (I am not exactly sure about this part) that their parents were half-uncle and niece so the shame of their existence was kept hidden from their mother’s dying father. This is because if they were found out by dying grandfather then their mother wouldn’t get her inheritance and they would remain poor. So, they are locked in the attic for several years while their mother is manipulated by their grandmother who slowly tries to kill them by sprinkling little bits of arsenic on their donuts. Oh, and the two oldest children, after years of isolation and reaching adolescence, form an incestuous relationship kinda like Brooke Shields and that guy with the blond curly haired guy did in The Blue Lagoon. Good stuff.

So I got a little carried away with that but… where was I going with this… oh, yeah, this is going to be my last post for 3 weeks or so since I will confined to the second floor of my parents house similar to that book/movie. I doubt it will be as bad. My parents have a lovely deck off their bedroom upstairs so I can be outside (and maybe get a little tan), they have cable in my old bedroom and my dad said he will put a mini fridge in my room too. Neato! The only thing is since I won’t be downstairs to get to the computer and have two days of work left and I have a lot to do to get all my ducks in a row. Feel free to call me and chat on your lunch breaks since that will probably when I will be the most bored. My dad will be at work and my mom got some scholarship to this artistic education camp where she is taking some strange sculpture class where she is building an alter and gluing buttons on trees. She is also taking an interpretive movement/dance class. That woman sure keeps herself busy…

So have fun and I’ll see you when I see you!

Don't worry about me, I will stay away from any donuts my parents bring me.

Oh, and I just found out that after a long arduous battle with my insurance provider I was approved for my out of network care! Just goes to show you crying will get you anything you need.

--wait, I will have one more post I will put up tomorrow of my new playlist/song recommendations. Its so good it will make your heart stop.

The empty bottle – it misses you and I’m the one it’s talkin to

Ryan Adams has released nine albums since 2000, although Adams said he's actually made 15.

“…the sheer volume of his output means listeners need to sift through a lot of less remarkable songs to find the special moments, and many simply don't have the patience. He released three albums in 2005 alone, and one of them had two discs.” - AP

I have the patience. I am not a “favorites” person but Ryan is my favorite and he probably always will be, even more than Dar and Morrissey. A few weeks ago I went to see him play with his band The Cardinals at the TLA. Although I never know what to expect that doesn’t matter because he’s my baby. That night there was no opening act and no encore which I considered a fair trade off. The “Dear Chicago” requesting former frat boys and their generic looking dates bitched and moaned on the way out about how they didn’t recognize any of the songs and how come he sat all the way on the side of the stage. Me? I left elated. This was one of the best of his I had seen, and I have some seen some of his worst drunken nightmare shows. But again, I have the patience. When you love something you just kind of have to stick it out and have faith it will get better and sure enough it did.

Ryan Adams is clean and sober these days and just put out “Easy Tiger” which is amazing.

Of course it is.

Be smart and listen.

I'm hot, sticky sweet, from my head to my feet

http://sugarhousecasino.com/home/

This is big issue in Fishtown now. Some are happy and some are not. I am not a fancy casino girl so I doubt I would go that often when it is completed anyway. It is technically in Fishtown but it is about as close to my house as it is to Old City.

All I really care about is what it will do to the value of my house which is more of an investment to me than a “home”. I mean, I’m not going to live there forever. What about property taxes? This house is my nest egg. This is what I will bring to the table financially if I ever get married. Well that and the piece of land and two cows my daddy will give.

With me it all comes down to the money, honey.

Do you have any thoughts about casinos in this city? Will it be like a Scores or something? I am not crazy about prostitutes hookin around Delaware and Frankford Avenue.

I shouldn't have to tell you the title is a Def Leppard lyric.

My Baby He Wrote Me A Letter...

Stephen Sheller Esq. of Sheller, Ludwig, & Badey P.C. sent me a large dead cockroach in a manila envelope through the United States Postal Service today.

This is a first for me.

He must know about my birthday.

Yep, that's him.

I always wondered who listened to them.

That is what my sister said to me when she saw the Babyshambles CD in my car. Well, I loved The Libertines' first album and although nothing else that they or Pete Doherty put out after delivered the same way I continued to check them out. Sex, drugs, rock & roll gang. He is like our generation's Keith Moon but unfortunately with the press everywhere there is no mystery here. When I listen to bands like Pantera or Metallica (May at WYSP FM 94.1 is Maytallica month) I like to imagine how cool it must be to be a rock star. I dream about being back stage taking in the smell of stale cigarettes and sweat, the floor sticky from spilled Jack Daniels, and the sound of squealing groupies with their feathered hair and cut off tanks. Seeing these guys pasty and disoriented with their shirts stained with their own vomit being hauled off to rehab ruins it for me. Sure, this kind of music is not my primary listening but I get it. It is an escape into another world, like playing with Barbies. Actually seeing the total mess these men turn their lives into brings it down to that hard cold reality I don’t want to think about when I am lying on my bed zoning out to my music. Their life has to be cooler than mine, right? I don't want to hear, let alone see proof that it isn't. So it’s a shame that Pete’s antics have now made him a joke with people who never listened to The Libertines and with what we have all seen, that label is valid. He crossed the line which is even thinner now in the YouTube/gossip blog era. Sad, I know.

The upside – Perez posted this quote from Pete Doherty made about his ex beau Kate Moss that I find very amusing.

- “She rang last night and left a drunken answerphone message, singing Moon River. She’s ripped my heart out. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Moon River? Who knew she was a Johnny Mercer/Henry Mancini fan?

Me too!!!

Wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji urodzin!

Tonight I am going out for yet and another birthday dinner and cocktail thing. This time it is for my MMB counterpart Agata! Happy Birthday!

Sto lat, sto lat, sto lat, niech zyje zyje nam

Sto lat, sto lat, niech zyje zyje nam

Jeszcze raz, jeszcze raz, niech zyje, zyje nam

Niech zyje nam!

Enough with the Goddamn birthdays already! This is the last one before mine that I will acknowledge. Wait, Chrystal's birthday is coming up... Forget her, she got married last year and got enough attention then. Plus she is going to Cancun soon so I don't feel bad about not caring about her birthday.

Hey Chrystal - Deal with it!

Time to Cleanse the Palate...

With cute baby pictures! This cuttie pie is my friend from college, Nicole's baby Giselle. She is a photographer (obviously) out in Michigan.Feel free to send me pictures of your favorite babies and I will be sure to post them!