One Shot, One Beer, and a Kiss Before I Go

It happens. You have every intention of behaving like a mature adult and go out for only one, two tops, libations and next thing you know your drinking like a southern writer. Do not feel bad. This is the sign of a fun person. People who do not drink even a little bit and define themselves with the term “straight edge” (groan) are not fun people. Not bad, just not fun. If you are one of these people and someone has told you differently then they are lying to you. Plain and simple. Straight edge people are the dead weight who can potentially sink a party. They are only tolerable once you have a smooth enough buzz to forget they are there and designated driving is all they are good for.

I believe that vice less people are the least interesting people on the planet. Unfortunately that is the case and that fact is supported by the snooze fest albums once great bands put out after they dried out. Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating drunkenness, I am advocating lightening the fuck up. Have a little crazy and immature fun (see this picture of 2 people I love intensely). If you don’t drink you are only invited to half the things you would be and that is the painful truth. Buddhist monks are only interesting from afar.

There is the one exception to this rule and that is of the recovering alcoholic. These have my respect as they have swung from every chandelier and have ridden the mechanical bull of life more than 8 seconds. They have wonderful, sad, funny, engaging stories to tell. They also knew when it was time to dry out and grow up. Even if you are not an alcoholic there is a time when everyone is going to have to cool it a little. In the meantime do some ice luge shots with your sister on New Year’s Eve.

As someone who used to drink way too much way too often I know from whence I speak. The most difficult and important thing to accomplish in life is to learn to navigate the tricky waters between living a life you are proud of and still delighting in the many things there are to take pleasure in. To accomplish this you must make lots of mistakes and nothing helps that along like a few cocktails. Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and painfully dull.

So, say something inappropriate and do something you normally wouldn’t do. You may regret it but maybe it is something you really mean.

Cheers!